~ “Kafka on the Shore” by Haruki Murakami

Recently, I’ve been going through a storm. I won’t deny that it was by my own doing that I managed to find myself enduring the stinging sand. I’ll admit, I went off my medication…not a good idea for someone who is bipolar. I honestly thought I had the tools needed to combat the never-ceasing knock of depression. However, I found myself in a most discouraging dilemma. I could continue to force myself to adjust—wait for my brain to balance out even though the crying spells came so frequently or I could go back on my medication and readjust my attitude to the idea of needing the extra boost. I chose the latter and I’m thankful I did. Sleeping during the day is not an option when you’re the mother to three active and needy boys!

I’ll admit I felt like a failure after not being able to pull through the storm. My mom suggested that it’s not a failure if I learned something from it, though. She was right, but what did I learn? Well, first of all telling myself that everything will be alright isn’t enough to cope. Emotional regulation for me is bio-chemical and not just a strength of mentality. Second, it’s not simply thinking of different ways to change the problem or fix the situation. My brain REQUIRES chemical consistency to function properly. Accepting these realizations isn’t easy. Knowing I may be stuck on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics for the rest of my life can itself be depressive. But I must adapt. Acceptance, positive thinking and cognitive restructuring are required. Let’s hope this lesson sticks!

But all you have to do is speak with several (or me) who have the disorder and you’ll learn that much of our experience is beyond our conscious control. It isn’t like we can simply feel more upbeat when slipping into depression, or conversely, put the brakes on when energy and cognition are accelerated due to hypomania. I feel like I’m on a raft being carried down a river. Sometimes I reach parts of my journey where the water is still or hardly moving at all. At other times I’m being swiftly carried down river while also trying to manage turbulent rapids. In other words, being told I can exert control is like being subject to a cruel joke.

For those who have Bipolar I, there is often little ambiguity about being out of control. The very fact that full mania requires the safety and protection of inpatient hospitalization as well as fairly strong medication to bring the individual’s behaviors back under control is usually a clear testament to the fact that the manic person is experiencing neurochemistry gone awry. The individual rarely feels like he or she had a lot of conscious choice.

Those of us with Bipolar II are frequently faced with pervasive guilt and self-doubt about our role in creating negative outcomes as a result of our episodes of destabilization. Consequently, our work needs to occur in two areas. First, we really need to work on compassion and self-acceptance. Second, we need to become world-class paddlers. There are many skills and many behavioral adaptations that can be applied to help us smooth out the turbulent waters. Those who have lived with bipolar disorder for numerous years are typically better at these skills as they’ve had a longer period of practice. Those who are newer to the river aren’t as skilled.

Unfortunately, those of us with bipolar disorder don’t typically have a choice as to what river we’re going to raft. That’s where we see the differences between Bipolar I and II. But once on the river, we’re not without paddles. How effectively we apply our skills can make a big difference. And don’t forget that acceptance of the fact that we have a disorder is one of these necessary skills!

You’ve also probably been the receiving end of the hostility belt out by your own inner critic. For some of you, it could even be an internal battle with which you have to fight, and win, every single day in order to stay functional.

Why do we beat up ourselves so badly inside, while we can take such meticulous care, sometimes to the point of obsession, of our body on the outside? What causes such inconsistency between our actions and the mind?

Actions Born Out of Fears

Although on the surface we may appear to love and respect ourselves, on further inspection, you may realize it is anything but love and acceptance. Instead, our actions could well stem from fears.

What are we afraid of? Plenty.

We are afraid of getting terminal illnesses; we’re afraid of not being able to afford the escalating hospital bill; we are afraid of disapproving looks from the people around us; we are afraid of losing out to our relatives, friends and neighbors; we are afraid of being disabled and having to rely on others for the rest of our lives, and so on.

This fear-based approach to life can easily infiltrate into the ways we manage other aspects of life as well. Career, relationship, kid-raising and more.

While it can be a powerful motivating force, when actions arise solely out of fear, we tend to become angry with ourselves, and become fiercely self-critical, when we fail to make the mark we’ve set.

I have realized in the last couple of days that achievements accomplished through fear are also destined to be fleeting as the very fear that fuels our motivation will come back larger each time it has been fed.

Success is, therefore, always in the next major project to be completed; happiness will always lie in the next thing to be possessed; the ideal weight will always be one pound lighter, and wealth will always be another zero after our net worth value. Enough is never quite enough.

This, of course, is the perfect reason why your inner critic is never stopping, since it will never run out of justifications to give you a good lash.

How to Deal with Your Inner Critic

Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s ever possible to stop the scathing commentary from running completely. Trying to stop the incessant chattering is like trying to ask a person to turn off the brain. But, there’s no off button for the brain!

But, even though we have little control over the content of our mind, we can change the way we relate to them.

Believe it or not, what makes unrelenting self-criticism so powerful is you. We take every word coming from ourselves way too seriously. We accept and believe every single thing that we tell ourselves without questioning.

But the fact is, just because something comes out of our own head doesn’t make it any more truer than what we see on the TV, papers or the Internet.

The thoughts in our mind may not even be our own to begin with! The years of conditioning by our parents, friends, colleagues, media, the society we live in and our own limited experience have all collectively shaped our perspectives in life, both consciously and subconsciously. Our perspectives, in turn, affect the opinions we formed about ourselves and others.

You only need to be mindful of what your internal commentator is talking about to figure this out. If you’ve never analyzed what those judgements are about, you’ll be surprised that a lot of times they are distorted facts, half-truths and even complete lies.

When you’ve done this for enough times, you may even come to the stage when you stop identifying with the bulk of what your inner critic is trying to have you believe. That’s when most of the self-judgements start to have less effects on you and they will simply appear and disappear on their own without leaving much trace within.

I get tripped up all the time by my internal commentary when I’m not mindful enough to see through the condemnation that disguises itself as well-meaning advice. The mind can be crafty (be careful!) and will try to deliver its two-cent worth in other ways when its old tactics are no longer working.

But with sufficient mindfulness, which daily mindfulness meditation can help to cultivate, it’s possible to live in harmony with Mr. or Ms. Critical inside.

Try it the next time when another self-critical thought pops out. Listen carefully to what that voice is saying.

Because as caustic as it may sound, that’s also where the key to your freedom and inner peace can be found.

(By the way, I didn’t figure all of this out on my own. I have someone who speaks positively into my life on a daily basis. Without her, I’m not sure I would be making the strides I am to mindfulness and self-truth. We all need people to speak truth into our lives. My hope is that you, my friend, have such a person in your life.)

Finally, she did the hardest thing of all: she set me on my life’s path, let me separate and then set me free.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I Think of My Mom

I think of my mom as I walk down the street…She is the whisper of the leaves.

I think of my mom as I do laundry…She is the smell of my freshly laundered towels.

I think of my mom when I’m sick…She was the cool hand on my brow.

I think of my mom when I am happy…She lives inside my laughter.

I think of my mom when I am sad…She is crystallized in every tear drop.

I think of my mom when I look in the mirror…Her investment is written all over my symmetrical smile.

Nothing on earth could separate me from my mom…Not time, not space, not even death.

I carry her inside of me.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. May I always follow the example you set for your daughters.

I’m not going to get into the ins and outs of what you believe and what I believe. Everyone has their own perspective of the world. Who am I to tell someone they are wrong? Who am I to tell someone that they need to stand where I am and look from my vantage point? We all have our own journeys.

As I was writing a friend this morning, I expressed to her why I write about my most intimate experiences online for everyone to see. I don’t do it for me, though I suppose there is some catharsis of freedom that comes with being honest. I express my life experiences for those who struggle with some of the same issues I do. I want those with bipolar to know they aren’t alone in their daily battle for equilibrium. I write for the homosexual who is still finding their place in the world. Why do I make myself so vulnerable? Because I know, and because I’ve been given the time and the words to express what I feel and experience. My vision is to bring hope, encouragement, motivation and maybe even validation to someone who feels beat down.

I have been both rewarded with online friendships and discouraged with losing friends who thought they knew me. (Trust that I’m not any less moral or tender-hearted than I was when I attended my conservative childhood church.) I’m diligently searching for a faith that I can hold onto without the fear of being shamed, guilted, or damned to an eternity of flames. I’m not saying I’m looking for a faith that fits MY mold, rather I’m looking for the truth that sets me free. I know many of you believe you hold the answers (or Answer) to my questions. I don’t think it’s quite as simple as one might suggest—we all have our own journey as I said before. I welcome all comments (and prayers) anyone might send my way.

I’m new to the Ana-Baptist faith, but after attending a statement of faith class I understand that Mennonites believe that each person must interpret the Bible for themselves; we are not to let anyone else control our thinking about scripture. Too, understanding the Bible is understanding what the writer wanted his readers to understand. This seems so obvious, but millions of Bible readers and thousands of preachers violate this principle constantly because when they look at a passage, they do not give a thought either to the author or to those to whom he wrote but immediately begin to decide what the words, by themselves, mean. Practically everyone is guilty of this. This leads to almost as many different ideas as there are readers. But the only truth in a passage is the truth the writer was trying to convey to readers who were his contemporaries. Thus we need to keep in mind:

a) The writer’s meaning comes out of his background.

b) The writer’s meaning is determined by the background and situation of those to whom he wrote.

c) Our understanding of the writer’s meaning is colored by our own culture, experiences, understandings, presuppositions, etc.

d) The meaning of the author is not in his words! Words are merely imperfect vehicles for use in transferring thought.

As the points above indicate, what we must do is find the central truth or God’s eternal principle in any passage we are studying. Nothing should ever be taken out of its whole context. If we ignore the context, for example, then couples would not marry unless one of them “burned with lust,” then it would be okay to marry so the lust could be satisfied in a legal way (I Cor. 7:9)! And that is as ridiculous and repulsive as many of the ways “proof-texts” have had cults built around them. Paul thought Christ would return very shortly, so he was saying that since marriage would last for such a brief period, it was just better, if you were single, to stay as you were. When the time came that it was no longer so certain that couples would have only a brief time for marriage, Paul’s (scriptural) admonition was no longer considered applicable.

 A single passage should be interpreted in the light of the Bible as a whole. Peter said that if we believe and are baptized for the remission of our sins, we shall be saved (Acts 2:38). This says rather clearly that faith and baptism are the way to salvation. Ana-Baptists don’t believe he meant literally what the words say, for we know from the whole New Testament that baptism in itself has nothing to do with salvation. So now we know what he really meant and didn’t mean.

The Bible is not a rule book. Grievous errors are made by those who believe it is. The Bible is a record that gives us a revelation of God by the writers’ having recorded their experiences with God, things that happened in the first and preceding centuries. What we need to do is find the eternal, central truth behind the “rules” and apply that truth to our 21^st century circumstances. Many rules are eternal, but that is because of the eternal truth in them, and it is that truth we follow, not the rule that contained it. For example, Jesus didn’t command me to go into all the world; I wasn’t in the group that heard him that day. But when I read the record of that event, I understand God’s plan and that if I want to do God’s will in my age, I must do all I can to go into all the world, not because that is a rule to follow as a child follows a parent’s rule, but because it is my mature understanding of God’s plan and my place in it.

How do we move from the first century Bible to today? We have talked about principles, but applying the principles is not always easy. The Bible has nothing to say about much that we encounter in the twenty-first century, for example, innate homosexuality.

Until the late 1800′s there was no written idea of homosexuality being an innate part of one’s nature. Until that time it was believed that all people were heterosexual, but some were so perverted that they engaged in same-gender sex. When the Bible writers talked on this subject, within their culture and understanding, that is what they were talking about—that kind of heterosexuality. Nevertheless, there are Bible passages used by some people today to condemn homosexuals. I want to discuss each passage in some detail to show that not only is there no statement about homosexuality, but also that there is no statement applicable to homosexual sex if that sex is not lustful.

THE OLD TESTAMENT

Genesis 1-2, The Creation Story

Critics of homosexuality enjoy saying, “The creation story is about Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” Those who say that marriage can be only between a man and a woman argue that God’s creation of Adam and Eve as heterosexuals shows that this is what he intended all persons to be; anything else is outside His will and therefore sinful. One can read anything one wants to into the creation story but cannot read anything about homosexuality out of it. I believe that arguing that the creation story privileges a heterosexual view of the relations between humankind is to make one of the weakest arguments possible. It does not mention friendship, for example, and yet we don’t assume that friendship is condemned or abnormal. It does not mention the single state, and yet we know that singleness is not condemned, and in certain religious circumstances is held in very high esteem. It doesn’t mention marriage between two different races, but we don’t assume that interracial marriage is wrong. The creation story is not, after all, a paradigm about marriage, but rather about the establishment of human society.

Some consider the sin of Sodom to be same-gender sex, although we are not told in Genesis what Sodom’s sins were, only that they were so great that God determined to destroy the city. On the evening before its destruction he sent two angels, in disguise as men, to the city to lead Lot and his family out early the next day. Hospitable Lot invited them to spend the night at his house. During the evening the men of the city surrounded the house and demanded of Lot that he bring the two men out so that they could [19:5]

King James Version: “know them.”

Revised Standard Version: “know them.”

New International Version: “have sex with them.”

When Lot refused to bring his guests out, the men of the city were about to break his door down when the angels struck them all blind and the mob dispersed. The next day Lot and his family were led out of Sodom, and the city was destroyed by fire and brimstone from heaven.

The Hebrew verb used here, “yadha,“ “to know,” is used 943 times in the OT and only ten times clearly to mean “have sex,” then it always means heterosexual sex. The word normally used for homosexual sex is “shakhabh.” Many scholars believe that in Gen.19:5 yadha means “know” in the sense of “get acquainted with” (the city’s men may have wondered if these were enemy spies or they might have sensed the city’s impending doom and been concerned with what these strangers were doing there) and have several arguments for this, including Sodom’s being used as an example of great sin numerous times in the Old and New Testaments with nothing ever said about same-sex sex, and the context of Jesus’ references to Sodom (Luke 10:10-13) which seems to imply lack of hospitality as the sin.

There is nothing in this story applicable to our consideration of homosexuality.

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13

Revised Standard Version:

22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman, it is an abomination.

13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death…

The King James and New International versions say virtually the same thing.

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 are the only direct references to same-gender sex in the Old Testament. They are both part of the Old Testament Holiness Code, a religious, not a moral code; it later became the Jewish Purity Laws. [“Abomination” is used throughout the Old Testament to designate sins that involve ethnic contamination or idolatry. The word relates to the failure to worship God or to worshiping a false god; it does not relate to morality.]

God required purity for his worship. Anything pure was unadulterated, unmixed with anything else These Purity Laws prohibited mixing different threads in one garment, sowing a field with two kinds of seed, crossbreeding animals. A few years ago in Israel when an orthodox government came into power, McDonald’s had to stop selling cheeseburgers. Hamburgers, okay. Cheese sandwiches, sure. But mixing milk and meat in one sandwich violated the Purity Laws—it had nothing to do with morality. These were laws about worshiping God, not ethics, and so have no bearing on our discussion of morality.

Another reason they are not pertinent to our discussion is that these laws were for the particular time and circumstances existing when they were given. If you planted a fruit tree, you could not eat its fruit until its fifth year, and all fruit the fourth year must be offered to the Lord. A worker must be paid his wage on the day of his labor. You must not harvest a field to its edge. We readily dismiss most of them as not applicable to our day and culture, and if we dismiss some of them for any reason, we have to dismiss all of them, including the sexual regulations, for that same reason. When we add the fact that these laws were talking about heterosexuals, it makes three reasons, any one of which would be sufficient, why they have no bearing on questions about homosexuals or homosexuality or on the morality of same-gender sex by homosexuals today.

THE NEW TESTAMENT

In the New Testament there are three passages to consider.

Romans 1:21, 26, 27

Revised Standard Version:

21 for although they knew God they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him…

26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men…

The King James and New International versions say virtually the same thing.

Romans 1:26 and 27 clearly speak of same-gender sex by both men and women, the only passage in the New Testament that does so. Rom. 1:18-32 speaks of Gentiles (heterosexuals) who could and should have known and served and given thanks to God but would not, so God gave them up and let them do whatever they wanted to do, and that resulted in degrading and shameful acts, including same-gender sex. It is almost a moot point, but Paul is not listing sins for which God will condemn anyone, he is listing sins that occur because people have forsaken Him. These are acts committed by those who have turned away from God and so become “consumed with passion.”

All of us recognize that those who forsake God and give themselves over to lustful living—homosexual or heterosexual—stand condemned by the Bible. This passage is talking about people who chose to forsake God.

No direct appeal to Romans 1 as a source of rules about sexual conduct is possible, in my opinion.

I Corinthians 6:9

King James Version:

9…Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate [malakoi], nor abusers of themselves with mankind [arsenokoitai], 10 Nor thieves…, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

New International Version:

9…Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes [malakoi] nor homosexual offenders [arsenokoitai] 10 nor thieves…will inherit the kingdom of God.

Revised Standard Version:

9…Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals [malakoi and arsenokoitai], 10 nor thieves…, will inherit the kingdom of God.

A comparison of how the two Greek words are translated in the different versions shows that translations often, unfortunately, become the interpretations of the translators. In I Cor. 6:9 Paul lists the types of persons who will be excluded from the kingdom of God and for some he uses the Greek words malakoi and arsenokoitai. KJ translates the first “effeminate,” a word that has no necessary connection with homosexuals. The NIV translates the first “male prostitutes” and the second, “homosexual offenders”. The RSV in its first edition of 1952 translated both words by the single term, “homosexuals”. In the revised RSV of 1971, the translation “homosexuals” is discarded and the two Greek words are translated as “sexual perverts”; obviously the translators had concluded the earlier translation was not supportable.

Malakoi literally means “soft” and is translated that way by both KJ and RSV in Matt. 11:8 and Luke 7:25. When it is used in moral contexts in Greek writings it has the meaning of morally weak; a related word, malakia, when used in moral contexts, means dissolute and occasionally refers to sexual activity but never to homosexual acts. There are at least five Greek words that specifically mean people who practice same-gender sex. Unquestionably, if Paul had meant such people, he would not have used a word that is never used to mean that in Greek writings when he had other words that were clear in that meaning. He must have meant what the word commonly means in moral contexts, “morally weak.” There is no justification, most scholars agree, for translating it “homosexuals.”

Arsenokoitai, is not found in any extant Greek writings until the second century when it apparently means “pederast”, a corrupter of boys, and the sixth century when it is used for husbands practicing anal intercourse with their wives. Again, if Paul meant people practicing same-gender sex, why didn’t he use one of the common words? Some scholars think probably the second century use might come closest to Paul’s intention. If so, there is no justification for translating the word as “homosexuals.” Other scholars see a connection with Greek words used to refer to samegender sex in Leviticus. If so, it is speaking of heterosexuals given to such lust they turn to such acts.

I Corinthians 6:9-11 states no rule to govern the conduct of Christians.

I Timothy 1:10

King James Version:

9…the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners,…10…for them that defile themselves with mankind (arsenokoitai)…

Revised Standard Version:

9…the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for 10 immoral persons, sodomites (arsenokoitai),…

New International Version:

9…the law is not made for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful…10 for adulterers and perverts (arsenokoitai)

Here only the RSV specifically refers to same-gender sex, using the term “sodomites,” which is the translation given in both the Old Testament and New Testament to Hebrew and Greek words for male temple prostitutes. The KJV probably has the same thought. The NIV does not necessarily refer to same-gender sex. Again Paul has used the Greek word arsenokoitai, the word in I Cor. 6:9.

As discussed above, this word would have no reference to homosexuality or homosexual sex in our discussion.

So like the other two New Testament passages, I Tim. 1:10 says nothing about homosexuality or homosexuals and nothing about same-gender sex unless that of temple prostitutes or possibly the molestation of young boys by heterosexuals.  Although the word in English Bibles is interpreted as referring to homosexuals, we can be fairly certain that this is not the meaning that Paul wanted to convey. If he had, he would have used the word “paiderasste.” That was the standard Greek term at the time for sexual activity between males. We can conclude that he probably meant something different than people who engaged in male-male adult sexual behavior.

In view of the facts set forth above, we realize there is no moral teaching in the Bible about homosexuality as we know it, including homosexual sex (except possibly pederasty). The Bible cannot be used to condemn as immoral all same-gender sex. It clearly condemns lust, whether homosexual or heterosexual. There is certainly nothing in the Bible about anyone going to hell because he or she is homosexual. All who go to hell will go for the same, one reason: failure to commit their lives in faith to Jesus Christ as their lord and savior.

The basic model in today’s Christian homosexual community is so different from the model attacked by the New Testament that the criterion of reasonable similarity of context is not met. The conclusion I have to draw seems inevitable: Biblical judgments against homosexuality are not relevant to today’s debate.

The Biblical writers never contemplated a form of homosexuality in which loving, monogamous, and faithful persons sought to live out the implications of the gospel with as much fidelity to it as any heterosexual believer. All they knew of homosexuality was prostitution, pederasty, lasciviousness, and exploitation. These vices, as we know, are not unknown among heterosexuals, and to define contemporary homosexuals only in these terms is a cultural slander of the highest order, reflecting not so much prejudice, which it surely does, but what the Roman Catholic Church calls “invincible ignorance,” which all of the Christian piety and charity in the world can do little to conceal. The “problem,” of course, is not the Bible, it is the Christians who read it.

 For those of you who believe homosexuality is a sin:

Finally, welcoming gays and lesbians and affirming them in our church fellowship is not going soft on sin. Just the opposite. It is recognizing that we are all such great sinners in God’s sight that we can never judge another’s sins as worse than our sins. If we, sinners as we are, can be part of the fellowship of the church, then homosexuals, if they are considered sinners, can also be part of the fellowship. The criteria for their being welcomed is in their love for the Lord, their desire to worship and serve him and to have fellowship with us.

How can we sinners, say anything to gays or lesbians or anybody who wants to worship and work with us except, “You say you love the Lord and want to serve him. We do, too. Come be a part of our fellowship of worship and study and work. We are all such sinners in God’s sight we need one another and we can help and support one another. We are not here to judge one another’s sins; we are here to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ as we make our Christian pilgrimage.”

If I am not welcome, I will have to walk out the door, leaving in the sanctuary only those who wish to cast the first stone.

Tagged: Bible, Homosexuality, morality ]]> http://vitaestbonus.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/part-2-the-bible-and-homosexuality/feed/ 14 vitaestbonus http://vitaestbonus.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/part-3-a-biblical-affirmation-of-homosexuality/ http://vitaestbonus.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/part-3-a-biblical-affirmation-of-homosexuality/#comments Sun, 01 May 2011 19:44:21 +0000 TS http://vitaestbonus.wordpress.com/?p=714 ]]> One. Homosexuality is an unchangeable nature; it is not a lifestyle choice.

This is an essential basis for understanding homosexuality. There may still be a few knowledgeable people who do not believe this, but practically all behavioral scientists now accept this statement as a fact. Down through history same-gender sex was universally considered to be acts by (heterosexual) people who had chosen to engage in perverted sex. Advances in the sciences, particularly psychology, in the last 100 years have shown that not all people are heterosexual; some are homosexual, and their homosexuality is an unchangeable nature, not a choice.

Evidence that homosexuality is unchangeable includes: (a) ten thousand suicides each year of young homosexuals unwilling to face life with that orientation; (b) the high percentage of homosexuals who go to psychotherapists desperately wanting to change their orientation, and then (c) the very small percentage of them reportedly being changed after hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars being spent in psychotherapy; (d) the millions of homosexuals who remain “in the closet,” not acting like homosexuals and not wanting anyone to learn of their orientation; (e) the thousands who are reported as coming to pastors and counselors devastated to have to recognize their unchangeable orientation and wanting assistance in dealing with it.

A few, after psychotherapy, report successful change. It is believed that most of these are not true homosexuals, but because of some trauma in childhood they adopted homosexual traits; with these, psychotherapy can often do away with the results of the trauma and lead the person back to his or her natural heterosexuality. The results of extensive psychotherapy with homosexuals who desperately wanted to change their orientation have been studied, and several books document the disheartening lack of success of their time, money and efforts.

Two. All people are created in the image of God. The homosexuality of gays and lesbians, created by God, is good and not evil.

This is the second essential basis for coming to a right understanding of homosexuals. If I can say God made me as I am, a heterosexual, then homosexuals can say God made them as they are. If God made them that way, that way is good. If I am created in the image of God, homosexuals are created in the image of God. And if God has a purpose for every life, the lives of homosexuals have a God-given purpose. Then refusing to accept and affirm them in the same way we affirm others would be trying to thwart the purposes of God. Can we draw any other conclusion?

Some church people who are not accepting of gays and lesbians may say that homosexuality is an aberration of nature and that God doesn’t want it. But homosexuals have no physical or mental limitations, and there is nothing about the homosexual that can be defined as an aberration.Some church people who are not accepting of gays and lesbians may say that homosexuality is an aberration of nature and that God doesn’t want it. It’s like saying God does not want a child with Downs Syndrome because of the limitations it places on that child throughout life. But homosexuals have no physical or mental limitations, and there is nothing about the homosexual that can be defined as an aberration. This is not only useless, but it’s a dangerous philosophy. The damaging effects of active alcoholism are readily apparent, but the APA ceased characterizing homosexuality as a disease “because there was no clinical evidence that homosexual activity resulted in any more destructive behaviors than was the case for persons engaging in heterosexual activity.” Further, we recognize that alcoholics need to “recover,” but homosexuals find nothing in their nature that they can change or need to recover from. Finally, alcoholism is a disease triggered by the act of drinking; the focus is on the act of either drinking or abstaining from drinking. Homosexuality is not an act, it is a nature.

Another analogy would be the left-handed person, created that way, different from others, but whose difference is in no way an aberration or predisposition and whose person-hood is the same as that of others. There is no reason for not admitting that the homosexual is simply made in the image of God as is every other person. The only reasonable statement is that homosexuality is God-given and, therefore, with a God-given purpose. We should embrace gays and lesbians and mutually help one another achieve the purposes God has for us all.

Three. The homosexual is just as normal a person as a heterosexual and should not be thought of in sexual terms.

What made me, a homosexual fall in love with a person of the same gender? I can’t say—it is just some innate characteristic of my makeup. In the homosexual, that characteristic works differently for some yet unknown reason, and the falling-in-love process is directed at the same gender. But it is a true falling in love. It isn’t a sexual thing for us any more that it is for heterosexuals. If we look at a heterosexual man or woman and do not immediately think of sex, then when we look at a gay or a lesbian, we should not immediately think of sex. They are people like us with the same needs and concerns, problems and failures and successes and sorrows and joys that we have, plus lots of problems that we do not have.

Four. Several passages in the Bible speak of same-gender sex. In every instance, the Bible is talking about heterosexuals who, filled with lust, have become sex perverts. The Bible says nothing about innate homosexuality as we know it today or about people who are homosexuals. 

Until the late nineteenth century, as already mentioned, the concept of homosexuality was totally unknown. No Bible writer knew of homosexuality, so no Bible writer could have said anything about it. When the Bible speaks of same-gender sex, it is always talking about heterosexuals who are given over to such lust that they commit lustful acts. There cannot be anything in the Bible that says anything about (unknown) homosexuality or homosexual people or acts by homosexuals. No one questions the Bible’s condemnation of sexual lust, and today that would be whether it was homosexual or heterosexual. Some want to say that same-gender sex acts are condemned by the Bible, and it does not matter by whom they are committed. No, lustful same gender sex acts are. Heterosexual sex acts are also condemned by the Bible whenever they are lustful, but that doesn’t mean all heterosexual sex acts are condemned. It is the lust that is condemned, not an act. If we recognize that opposite-gender sex can be either lustful and evil as in rape or be moral and beautiful as between loving spouses, we must recognize the possibility that same-gender sex can be moral and beautiful, as well as lustful and evil. The Bible says nothing about homosexual people being sent to hell.

Five. The burden imposed on homosexuals by society is a great evil. We should stand in revulsion against, and do all we can to oppose, the prejudice, the hatreds, and the condemnation of a society that make the homosexual’s life so difficult.

The lynching of Blacks has almost passed, but not the lynching of gays and lesbians. Some one hundred hate-crime murders of gays and lesbians are recorded in the U.S. each year. Most receive little press. An exception was Matt Shepard—beaten and tied to a fence to die in Wyoming because he was gay. Shortly afterward, gays and lesbians all over America received faxes, emails and phone calls saying, “Matt Shepard is dead; you may be next.” 

Homosexuals do not have the natural protection of the law that others have. There are nationwide laws against discrimination on the basis of race and national origin, but only one-fifth of our states have laws prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation—there is no federal law. The U.S. Supreme Court has upheld laws in two states making same gender sex illegal. A Dallas judge gave a light sentence to a murderer explaining that the victim was only a homosexual. What encouragement is thus given to gay-bashers! The hatred gays and lesbians encounter, added to the psychological problems most face in accepting their homosexuality, make many of them live in an ever-present milieu that borders on trauma.

All of this hate is a sickness in our society that comes from ignorance about homosexuality. Our society must become informed, enlightened about it. Those who are involved in discussions in denominations and churches about it must study it and not speak from ignorance of it and the result of ignorance: prejudice.

Six. Homosexuals are being sinned against by most of our churches. Like our society, our churches need to change.

One of the first things I think about when I start to think about this subject is that millions of gays and lesbians will never, with few exceptions, darken the door of a church because they know the attitude toward them is one of hatred and condemnation. Is “hatred” too strong a word? I don’t think so. Love is certainly not how I would describe the posture that fundamentalists have towards homosexuals. Our churches need to change, for the churches ought to be havens for gays and lesbians from the insufferable burdens they bear constantly. But when the world believes that churches despise and condemn homosexuals, those who hate them find encouragement. Fundamentalists such as Southern Baptists and Catholics promote the problems seemingly with a vengeance, declaring homosexuality itself a sin. Even the mainstream denominations do to a great extent as we read frequently in the papers. Most denominations are discussing it openly; without exception they are divided in their thinking, and the news reports of the discussions publicize the negative rhetoric along with the positive. This subject so needs to be examined and discussed at length in our churches, without passion and with open minds. I believe what I am stating in this post will be the truth the churches will discover. Then they must act on and proclaim that truth. 

You and I realize that the people in our churches are ignorant about the truths I have already stated about homosexuals and homosexuality. They must be made to realize that honesty and integrity demand they make judgments on the basis of knowledge and not on groundless feelings and prejudice. It’s like the race hatreds and segregated churches of a few decades ago; most church people know better now and our churches are at least open to all. The same must happen with this issue.

Seven. It is not only unrealistic to expect homosexuals to live without sex, but also it is psychologically harmful to them for them to do so.

Now we are face to face with the question of what is moral in sex expression. In so many people’s minds, the whole meaning of homosexuality is immoral sex. And that is evil, they say, because sex must be between male and female, and it is evil because sex must be in marriage; it is as simple and black and white as that. But nothing as complex as sex, which expands both the heights of beauty and the depths of ugliness, can be simple, and no black and white rule can touch it. 

One reason a theologian and a Christian ethicist have difficulty finding a sex ethic in the Bible is that the Bible’s condemnation of sexual acts is always associated with selfish lust, with nothing said about a loving sex life. Further, the Bible does not say that moral sex is confined to what we understand marriage to be. For example, David and Solomon, beloved and used by God, were polygamists. Solomon had hundreds of mistresses. A pastor is found to have one mistress, and he is quickly gone.

Must sex be between male and female? One act of sex must be. Is that all of sex, or for heterosexuals does sex—let’s think only of beautiful sex—involve many other acts, some of which sometimes become more important than that one act? Does marriage make sex beautiful and moral? Even those who insist that sex must be only in marriage admit that there is often immoral sex within marriage—selfishness, exploitation, even rape. So the marriage certificate is not what determines whether sex is moral or immoral. Then we must say that if legality is not the criterion for the morality of sex, lack of legality cannot be the criterion for its immorality.

Eight. Full acceptance by society, including the blessings and legality of marriage should be extended to gays and lesbians in the same way it is extended to others.

If it is moral as well as psychologically needful—a God-created need—for homosexuals to live as couples in committed relationships, as many theologians and psychologists have said it is, then homosexuals who are in loving, long-term, committed relationships should have the societal rights and privileges that marriage can give them.

Was it not God who said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Gen. 2:18)? Note Paul’s advice that it was better to marry than to burn. As long as homosexual couples are denied marriage, there is no alternative to burning.

Part 4:   “Biblical Couples Who May Have Practiced Homosexuality”   

Coming Soon!

I was in my childhood home with my parents; we were in the basement (which we didn’t actually have) when the house started to tilt. My dad explained to us at that point that there was a water reservoir under the house making it move. I remember feeling afraid but not debilitating fear. I was almost resolved that if the house fell, it would fall and we would be okay either way. After tilting some more, I decided to make my way to the main floor to get some perspective on how much it was leaning. I was standing in the kitchen when both the house and the detached garage both slowly rocked so far to the south that they toppled over. The structure itself remained intact–it was like knocking over a Lego house very carefully. Everyone inside got out unscathed.

Now for the meaning:

The dream symbol meaning for House deals with the body, as well as a desire for security and safety. The condition of the House in the dream represents how you truly feel about your current situation. If the House is in ill-repair or disarray, you need to take a close look at your health.

Okay, so the house represents my body and a desire for security and safety. The house was not in ill-repair, save the tilting, it was in perfect shape. I take this to mean that my health is in order. However, something was initiating this off-centeredness. I believe the tilting represents my unfulfilled desire to have a defined purpose. I long for a Dharma. But, what is shaking it? What is keeping me from finding it? What does the water represent?

The dream symbol meaning of Water deals with cleansing and emotional stirrings. If the Water is murky in your dream, this is a warning not to get involved in new endeavors. If the Water is clear, success is coming your way. Seeing yourself in Water’s reflection means that you aren’t being fully honest with yourself. When you contemplate your dream of Water, keep in mind Water is a symbol of your emotional state.

Also, according to Carl Jung too much water in dreams means lack of spirituality and lack of faith. It means materialism, and the doubt that there is another dimension in the human life beyond what belongs to Earth. This isn’t the first dream that I’ve had about my childhood home being built on water. I’ve had several in the last few months actually. The water is always dark. I can’t tell if the water is clear or murky because of this darkness.

I tend to dream in the past. Oh, I’m always the age I am now, but I’m translated back in time to places from my youth. Why do you suppose that? Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? Am I supposed to be working something out from my past?

Any dream experts out there willing to take a crack at it?

What do you do?

Stop and assess your lifestyle.  Do you have a high-stress job?  How healthy is your diet?  How often do you exercise?  What is your sleep pattern like?  Believe it or not, these things affect your mood in a profound way.  Also, seeking early treatment and maintaining a stable course of therapy can help you to maintain an uninterrupted and happy life.

For me, changing the way I handle stress, modifying my diet, starting an exercise program and getting adequate sleep has been enough to turn the tide.  To handle stress, I now practice Yoga-Nidra  on a daily basis.  It is a technique that you can use for achieving a complete relaxation and stress relief.  As far as my diet goes, I have pretty much focused on eliminating anything that causes inflammation.  Did you know that depression is an inflammatory disorder?  Yep! So, what foods cause inflammation in the body?  Here’s a Top 10 List from one of my favorite sites:

The Conscious Life

Avoid these 10 things:

1) Sugars

2) Common Cooking Oils

3) Trans-Fats

4) Dairy Products

5) Feed-Lot Raised Meat

6) Red Meat and Processed Meat

7) Alcohol

Refined Grains(The toughest one for me!)

9) Artificial Food Additives

10) <Fill in the Blank>

So, what does that leave for you to you to eat you might ask?  Focus on quality sources of animal protein (organic, free-range, or wild sources of meat, fowl, and fish), an assortment of colorful vegetables and fresh fruits and healthy sources of fat–nuts, seeds, their derivative butters, oils such as olive oil and avocados, etc.  All of these foods leave you feeling fuller longer and give you greater energy than the crash-prone carbohydrates.  These are natural foods.  They are intrinsically the most delicious, because they satisfy your cravings and distinct tastes, stabilize your mood and energy levels, and promote health and well-being!

Now, here’s what I do for exercise:  running and gentle yoga.  You can choose whatever you enjoy–the key is to find something that you love and do it consistently.  So, you know exercise is important for your health, but why is it important specifically for bipolar? The benefits are numerous!  Let’s delve right into it…

1) Exercise is good for the brain and body. Any type of moderate exercise will release endorphins, a type of chemical in the brain that improve mood and general feeling. It helps improve sleep quality, which is important in reducing triggers for episodes. Exercise as a form of stress relief, especially forms of fitness like yoga, are recommended to reduce triggers for episodes.

2) Exercise is good for emotional health.  Exercise can improve your mental health, boost self-esteem, promote better sleep, and make you feel and look good. 

Sleep and Bipolar:

What may surprise you is that reduced sleep isn’t just a symptom of mania – a short night can actually precipitate manic and hypomanic episodes.  Interestingly, many patients with unipolar depression report that they suffer from insomnia, even though bipolar patients tend to experience hypersomnia, excessive sleeping during depressive episodes. (That’s me!) I cannot stress enough–a regular sleep pattern is VERY important!

There are some practical things you can do to help manage your sleep.  Some hints are:

• Avoid caffeine
• Avoid alcohol
• Increase the amount of exercise you are doing
• Go to bed at the same time each day and get up at the same time
• Have a bed time routine
• Try relaxation tapes and techniques, including meditation
• Try to identify and address any worries which might be keeping you awake

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Who Do You Talk To?

If you think you might be bipolar, please talk to your physician.  Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 25 to 34-year-olds and the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds.  So, talk to your doctor if you have thoughts of suicide or of hurting yourself in ANY way.  Why do I bring up these statistics?  Because 1 in 5 people diagnosed with bipolar commits suicide.  Did you get that?  2 out of 10 people with bipolar will succeed in killing themselves–that doesn’t even touch the number of people who try and fail.  Yes, I fall in the category of those who have tried and failed.  Thankfully, I’m in a better place now.

If you are struggling with these thoughts and need to talk to someone NOW, here is a resource I highly recommend you contact:

The Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  1-800-273-8255

They will route you to the nearest crisis center to you.